By Linda Moody
June 15, 2014
I’ve probably mentioned it before but my son, Jamie, and I just love puns. So, since I’ve been on vacation for a week, I decided to let readers in on some that I found via Facebook:
• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a season veteran.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
• Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
• Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back for seconds.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
• Broken pencils are pointless.
It doesn’t take much to amuse Jamie and me, so hope these brightened someone’s day.
Go Cincinnati Reds!
• June 17 to Bill Gahret (50), Trish Martin, Jerrica Thwaits (17), Roger Moyer, Pat Johnson and Joan Gigandet.
• June 18 to Chuck Davis, Ted Strait, Joyce Walters (80), Jennifer Knick, Marcia Nieport, Kristin Doyle, Rich Gillette, Kim Merritt, Jackie Stonebraker, Suzanne Batten, Ted Adkins, Marilyn Morrison, Hugh Linebaugh (60), Commissioner Mike Rhoades, Vi Gilbert and Josephine Wilson.
• June 19 to Enrrique Hernandez (7), Amy Walls, Tom Butts, Jennifer Bilenstein, Larry Woodbury, Sam Wilker and Dawn Dohme.
• June 20 to Krista Fourman, Karen McGreevey Brown, Bev Holsapple, Robert Lyme, John Studabaker, Todd Waymire and Dara Buchy.
• June 21 to June McEowen, Troy Kammer, Cindy Hodge Mescher, MacKenzie Miller, Ron Mescher and Rita Gilroy.
• June 22 to Hannie Newbauer, Austin Helmke (13), Jerry Brandewie and Kyle Shaner.
• June 23 to Tyler Edwards, Jim Hileman and Cindy Jenkins Cox.
Happy anniversary to Matt and Nikki Hiestand on June 17; Jim and Sharon Buchy, Ted and Deb Blakeley, and Shawn and Creedie McGuire, all on June 19; and Dave and Ashley (Moody) Gilpin, Linda and Joe Magoto, Waldo and Helen Jenkinson and Daniel and Heidi Linbaugh, all on June 21.
Happy belated anniversary to Joe and Mary Kay Miller (50 years), June 14.
Don’t forget to pray for: My parents (Bea and Lee Moody), Charlie Keaser, Delbert Braund, Jim Perkins, Linda Benge Burnfield, Mary Devor, Rebecca Van De Grift, Mary Hartwick, Joy Thompson, Sandy Yagle Miller, Kent Snyder, Brenda Baker, Larry Bryson, Mike Brown (Dan’s brother), Joe Martin, Karli Doreen Wicker, Becky Stephens Keel, Susan Yagle, Steve Schafer, Cary VanDeGrift, Tracy Bailey, Josh Riffell, Tom Brumbaugh, Katie Day, Jeff and Ellie Keaser Jack Riegle, Mike and Brenda Grimes, Bill Grimes, Johnny Young, Margaret “Peg Bundy,” Jim Erwin, Dick Shook, Emily Tuco, Kevin Hemmerich, Ray Dickey Jr., John Widener Jr., Chevone Singer, Tonya Anthony, Lynn Keller, Lyla Stone, Darren Coby, Teresa Hoff Gross, Joe Martin “Bud” Self, Phyllis Turner, John Brandt, Ben Bowman, Jane Landis, Kenny Chancey, Duke Gibbs, Jeff Stump, Ted Royster, Brenda Wallace, Mya Savoy, Nick Fraley, Penny Starns, Leon Harshbarger, Christine Beasley, Dave Sloan, Don DeBord, Eddie Alexander, Tom Hollinger, McKayla Stachler, Mike Monnin, Leslie Prestel, Tom Labig, Carla Gilland, Irma Stewart, Vanna (Hannam) Abbott, Teresa (Mayo) Hammons, Sam and Melissa Strosnider, Donnie Wintrow, Jerod Pratt, Shari Best Wappelhorst, Rena Slater, Suzy Heck Schilling, Addie Henderson, Lucas Bryant, Dave Morrow, Shirley (Riffell) Morrow, Sandy Finkbine, Mike Martin, Barbara Caupp, Mel Grile, Terry Amstutz.
Patty Sells, Samantha Smith, Duane Mendenhall, Brien Hiestand, Deb Davidson-Smith, Ann Renfro, Jackie Coblentz Brown, Peggy Peters, Ron Nisonger, Sally Clymer Klipstine, Daniel Redmond, Etta Walker, Glen Hufford, Gertie VandePitte, Pat Johnson, Howard Hemmerly, Barbara Fisher, Shannon Peters Hall, Todd Walls, Earl Moore, Linda Malott, Jim and Patsy Schneider, Curtis Miller, Ron Kramer, Holli Anderson, Melissa “Missy” Helmer, Terry Black Sr., Cindy Cunningham Fleenor, Larry “Rafe” Elson, Bob Leugers, Jeff Schricker, Susie Gress of Nebraska, Angel Nicely, Bob Codling Sr., Barb Skinner, Jerry Paulus.
Amber Kiser, Wyoneda Stephens, Kathy Walter, Jim Moody, Harry Moody, Rob Hathaway, Mac Goodpaster, Alberta Aukerman, Chuck Davis, Dolores Nestor, Linda Lore, Rylee Blanken, Julie Widener, Deputy Dave Werling, Mike Custer, Karen Meier, Dana Holzapfel, Earl Curry, Kara Didier, Nick Voisard, Laura Harman, Joe Whittington, Dorothy Rismiller, Joe Fortkamp, Betty (Koons) Tinkham, Carla Welch, Keith Hiegel, Mike Collins, Chad Wert, Jeremy Litten, Greg Eubank, Shane Wetzel, Brandy Reier, Lester Ward, Paul Hodson, Zane Wetzel, Leann Ressler, Roger Harbison, Gertie Hampshire, Don Hittle, Bill Schuette, Tim Heck, all of our military people as well as this nation and to those who suffer from such debilitating diseases as cancer, dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Jamie and I send our condolences to the family of Vic Bothast Sr.
Think about it: The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.
Linda Moody is the Features Editor for The Daily Advocate. Her column appears every Sunday. She can be reached at email@example.com or by calling 937-548-3151, ext. 7150, or direct at work at 937-569-4315. Viewpoints expressed in these opinion pieces are the work of the author. The Daily Advocate does not endorse these viewpoints or the independent activities of the author.