8/23/2004 8:14:00 AM Reggie... a Koinonia success story
by Olivia Fessler
Ex-felon returns to society following eight years in prison
GREENVILLE - Reggie just wants to move on.
"Live and let live," the 40-year-old former prison inmate said. "Let people like me be done paying for our mistakes, especially if we're trying to do right."
Formerly a resident of Greenville's Koinonia House, a transitional home for released prisoners, Reggie said his first reaction to the program was: "What have I gotten myself into?"
"You've got to understand," he explained, "this was a white man and a white lady living by themselves, inviting a black man into their house."
Director John Graham said he and his wife, Kathy, desired to "work with the people that are the most outcast." The couple opened their home in early 2001 to Christian men coming out of prison.
Reggie was the first.
The former Cleveland man's reception in Greenville was not altogether friendly, he said.
"As soon as I stepped into the place, it was like, 'OK, here we go.' You've got people thinking you're a rapist or a murderer or a drug dealer, and their voices were a bit louder than some other people's."
Graham's Third Street neighbors circulated a petition to block the project, citing concerns about housing ex-felons in close proximity to Greenville Junior High School.
"But legally, nothing could be done," Graham said. "It wasn't a halfway house. It was just a house."
So Reggie stayed.
For his crimes of theft and drug posession, he had served 11 years behind bars.
"I could have easily died in there. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally," Reggie said.
But God was in control, he said, "And here I am, whether Greenville likes me or not."
The opportunity "fell in my lap while I was locked up," Reggie said. "One of the other guys had an application, so I was reading it and it caught my attention because it was spiritually-related."
The six-month application process began.
Graham, who served as a pastor for 12 years, said he works with the prison chaplain, takes applications and makes numerous visits to the Marion Correctional Institution to talk with inmates.
"There are all sorts of programs to help the guys inside," Graham said, "but there's very little of anything for them on the outside. Basically, they're told, 'Here's an orange jumpsuit. You're on your own.'"
But no one can make it alone, Graham said, and "statistics show that three out of four will go back without support."
So Graham looks for the ones who have no place to go and who have a track record that demonstrates a positive change in attitude.
A local church acts as a sponsor. Mentors then visit the inmate, while others get involved in letter writing.
Graham said the goal is to have a full support system in place by the time the resident arrives.
"If it wasn't for him lining up those people, I probably wouldn't have stayed the first three months," Reggie said. "It's so hard in [prison]; it's easy to become detached from people and society. I brought that out with me and it scared my mom. Scared her bad. I'd sit in the house - just sit there with nothing to say because I had learned to be distant."
The Grahams assured Reggie he had plenty to say.
And now, Reggie's message to the ones headed down the wrong path: "It ain't worth it."
"Yeah I was dealt bad cards," he said, "but I still made those choices."
Reggie lived in foster homes until he was 12 years old.
"By then, I grew a muscle and a mouth, got tired of the system and decided to do my own thing."
Moving from place to place, he developed an affection for alcohol, drugs and women. Hitting an all-time low, he tried to end his life with a drug overdose.
"I made a deal with God," he said. "I was either gonna do drugs until I passed out and didn't wake up or, if I made it, I'd turn my life over to him because I obviously didn't have control."
"I wanted to die," he said. "I really did. But at that moment, I let go and let God in."
After eight straight years in prison - for robbing a bank, attempted escape and drug possession - Reggie found it challenging to readjust to life outside.
"I didn't feel like facing people. It took me awhile just to walk up the street. I was doing what I felt God wanted me to do and I didn't want to get distracted by people's opinions, so I tried to avoid them at first," he said. "But I knew if I was going to change my life, I would need some help."
At Koinonia House, the emphasis is on mentoring and faith.
"I used to go to bars. I partied. I went out. But this time," Reggie said, "there were no bars, no parties. There were just Bible studies."
Graham requires residents to be active in a local church, assist with household responsibilities, engage in community service whenever possible, pay rent and obtain a job after their first three months at the home.
"Just like with your own kids, the goal is to get the men to be independent and pay their own way," Graham said.
"It's a family model. The purpose is to teach men how to take responsibility for the community, not just for themselves. It's not about feeding you; it's about feeding us."
Though the program was designed to last 18 months, Reggie left after six to care for his 14-year-old daughter. Children of Koinonia residents are not permitted to live in the home. Reggie chose to leave when his daughter was about to be committed to youth services.
"I wanted to give her the same chance that John and Kathy gave me," he said. "And it was time for me to grow up, be a man and take responsibility - something I wasn't doing when I was locked up."
Still, Reggie interacts with the Grahams.
"Especially when I find myself feeling depressed," Reggie said. "When I get down on myself, I sink pretty low and will start doing destructive things. [John's] straightfoward with me. He doesn't force his opinion, but he gives me some realities."
Graham said he seeks to teach a new lifestyle and Reggie's on the road to recovery.
"Yes, Reggie has his ups and downs, but he's a success because he's off welfare, he's working and he's taking care of his daughter. We accept him as he is and I think that's what you have to do," Graham said. "On a good day, a person takes two steps forward and one back, but, most days, it's just one step forward and a half back."
For Reggie, the struggle is persistent, but manageable.
"I still make mistakes," he said, "but when I get to the point where I'm about to lose it, I just let it go and I wait. I wait, and I ride out the storm because I know I'm not in control, and while I'm under God's care, the end result is always good."
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